Outside The NBA

Fernando Medina/Getty Images

Here are few haikus
That involve the NBA.
I hope you enjoy.

I love three pointers,
The release, the stroke, the swish,
Mike Breen: “For three… BANG!”

Hey, look what James found
Action figure Mike Bibby,
“D” Not Included.

Rasheed is on fire!
Two of five from three-point-land,
Break out the champagne.

Open up TweetDeck,
It’s LeBron, LeBron, LeBron.
There goes my boner.

Turkoglu traded,
Raptors win draft lottery.
Need new underwear.

“Ginobili: White?
Let’s look at his family tree.”
RealGM… So dumb.

Vince with the slam dunk!
23 points and 5 boards!
Orlando loses.

Broussard on LeBron:
“That’s the latest Scuttlebutt”
Shut up you moron.

Dwight Howard post up:
Dribble, dribble, bumble, whoops.
Whine to ref, fake smile.

Steve Nash pick and roll,
Amar’e with the huge jam!
Suns lose by 50.

Hoopsworld: Bosh is gone!
Bosh sign and trade for Beasley!
Oh right, it’s Hoopsworld.

LeBron signs with Clips!
Later on that afternoon:
LeBron’s legs explode.

Marv says to Reggie,
“Pick your sixth man of the year”
Reggie: “Tim Duncan.”

Twitter simplified:
“Read my blog about LeBron
Where I say dumb things.”

“You’re better than that”
and “Mama there goes that man!”
Please stop Mark Jackson.

Antawn Jamison
Will spread the floor and allow
LeBron to attack.

The Boston Celtics,
Mean, cranky, old, effective,
“Get off my damn lawn.”

Reggie: “Blah blah blah”
I can’t find the mute button.
Marv, please end my pain.

Wow! Joe Johnson’s truck
Looks like his future contract,
Huge and retarded.

Layne Murdoch/Getty Images

I, and I think a lot of other Raptor fans have been impressed with Amir Johnson off of the bench. He has a very good motor, puts a lot of energy into getting on the glass, plays tough defense and seems like a good teammate who knows his role. (more…)

Mr. Sterling, could you stop booing your own team? (Noah Graham/Getty Images)

Hello readers, I’m from the future, and I have some urgent information about how your favourite teams are going to perform this year. I know that most of you are begging to learn more about the Grizzlies, the Knicks, the Warriors, the Clippers, the Bucks, and the Grizzlies, and are genuinely concerned that they might not be able to make the playoffs. WELL, TAKE HEED FAIR IDIOTS! GAZE UPON THE STARK PROGNOSTICATIONS I HAVE PROVIDED AND DESPAIR! Your favourite teams are going to SUCK and nobody will feel pity on you. They will be smashed like a child’s macrame project at the hands of Brock Lesnar. (more…)